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One time, my sister was asking me for a picture of myself. When I asked why, she said it was for her assignment: something about the person she admires most. I said, why not a picture of Mommy instead? Or Ate? She shook her head, no, it’s Ate Tweety.
Nakalungkot din (I felt it ought to have been my mom)… and heartwarming at the same time. Napaisip ako nun, what did I do right to earn this little girl’s admiration? I was dumbfounded.
Today is a milestone in our family’s story.
My two youngest sisters and my youngest brother left with my father, to fly to the United States… and when they will be back here is uncertain.
Surprisingly, I feel no sadness for their parting. My grandmother told us last night, “I don’t want to cry.” My 2nd brother reportedly shed tears at the airport. I had none of that.
Maybe, because I’m sure that we will meet again.
Maybe, because I’ve experienced it before, when my eldest sister left.
But I do feel that the house is a little empty.
Neon lights took my father away.
Took my trust, my respect.
Left nothing but shame.
What would be worse? That it were true? Or that it was a cover-up for something else?
It’s crazy. Read the rest of this entry »
