Blood

Sabi ng isang Superhero (SH), “…hindi makakapagsulat kung walang dugong dumadanak.”

Eto na ang dugo. At ang sakit.

It is such a heavy burden to carry around, and I have been carrying it for a while. It is a nagging feeling that won’t let you sleep. It’s been on and off… But now it is on full-blast.

It is now a valid fear.

And boy, am I frightened.

It’s crazy, when you fear losing a job that you don’t even love in the first place, but you need to hold on to it because: 1) you need it to pay your bills, and 2) your pride cannot swallow the thought of you being ‘incompetent’.

I’m not sure whether I do want to go, or if I want to stay and prove myself. I mean, I already admitted that I don’t plan on staying there for longer than a year…

*Sigh*

But I am still agitated. It nags at me, gnaws at my nerves.

I don’t know what to do, think, or feel.

I hate it. I hate this.

Did I make a wrong decision somewhere?

Bleh. There’s no use in thinking what-ifs.

So what do I do now?

I don’t know.

Eff my life.

Sigh.