Insecurities.

It’s ironic how the best people you know bring out your worst insecurities…

“Eh ikaw, what’s your biggest issue?”

At that question, I stopped and thought hard. How convenient it was that what I drew up was something very superficial, something very shallow, something that didn’t nag my thoughts endlessly. I mean, sure, it’s true that I always think I lack, that what I do is not enough. It’s also true that there are nights when I couldn’t sleep when I knew I fucked up something that I could have done well. But no, that can easily be put behind as something that’s part of your PAST. There’s something else, something you thought you already overcame, but it comes back to haunt you like a bad memory. Except that it ISN’T a memory. It’s not something that happened. It’s something that could be. And the possibility that it’s true — that’s what you can’t face.

And if it’s true — what do I do about it? What is it that I’m doing wrong? Is it something I can fix, or am I doomed to be this way?

“That I would be good, even if I did nothing.”

Alanis Morissette, “That I would be good”